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teachings from our rabbi

NEWS AND VIEWS FROM RABBI MICAH STREIFFER


 

Read below for sermons, writings, and messages from our rabbi. Feel free to email  Rabbi Streiffer with thoughts or comments!

 

 

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what's so jewish about the super bowl?

on Saturday, 01 February 2014.

A SERMON FOR TERUMAH 5774

It is the obligation of the rabbi to speak from the bima about any upcoming holidays. To share the Jewish significance of what’s happening on the calendar right now. And where I come from, there’s a major holiday happening this weekend – Super Bowl Sunday.
 
So I got to thinking about the Jewish significance of the Super Bowl, and I came up with a number of ideas that I’d like to share with you. Now, I’m well aware that a similar comparison could be made with hockey, but you know what – you hired an American Rabbi; you knew what you were getting!
 
So, on this Yom Tov weekend, here are my thoughts on “What’s so Jewish about the Super Bowl.”
 
#1: Location, Location Location.
 
Almost every sport has a home field advantage. It’s the idea that when you are in your own venue, you’re likely to play better – for a whole variety of reasons having to do with familiarity, crowd noise, jet lag, even the perceived psychological challenges of being on someone else’s turf. The Leafs play better here in Toronto than they do on the road, right? (Well, most years...) 
 
The Super Bowl is specifically designed to minimize the home field advantage. Since there’s only one big game – as opposed to a series like in baseball or hockey - it’s played at a neutral, rotating location, so that neither team benefits.
 
Judaism understands these issues. This week’s Torah portion, Terumah, is all about home field advantage. In this parashah, the people of Israel are told: Va’asu li mikdash v’shachanti b’tocham – Make for Me (God) a sanctuary, so that I may dwell among you.” In other words, we are commanded to make God a home field. A sacred space where our Judaism can flourish and grow stronger because it is in its own element. And, as we at Kol Ami know very well, having a religious home really does strengthen our Judaism. 
 
But there’s another side to the coin, and it’s also reflected in this parashaha. As we also know very well at Kol Ami, Judaism is meant to be portable. Like a sports game, which can be played at any venue, our rites and rituals are meant to be carried with us wherever we go. That’s the why the mishkan – the tabernacle – is carried throughout the wilderness. Because Jewish practice is about much more than where you practice it.
 
Which brings me to reason #2:
What’s so Jewish about the Super Bowl? The details matter.
 
In sports, little things make a big difference. If the placekicker swings their foot slightly off, the ball may miss the uprights.  If the tennis ball hits a centimetre to the left or right, it can affect the outcome of the entire match.  Athletes spend their time drilling and practicing every little detail of every play, so that when it matters, they can get it right.
 
Judaism is the same way, and again, this week’s Torah portion speaks to that idea. It is filled with riveting passages that tell us exactly how to build the mishkan. Like this one, for example, from Exodus 25:10:
 

You shall make a table of acacia wood, two cubits long, one cubit wide, and a cubit and a half high. Make a rim of a hand’s breadth around it, and make a gold molding for its rim around it.

 
(I actually think that’s what Peyton Manning says in the huddle before a play).
 
Judaism is a religion of detail. We don’t just light candles on Shabbat; we light 2 candles, 18 minutes before sunset on Friday afternoon. We don’t just wear fringes; we wrap the tzitzit so that there are precisely 613 knots and twists. We believe that God is in the details, and the details can guide us toward living a holy life. 
 
But here, as well, there’s a balance. How you do things is important, but at the core of core of Judaism is why you do them. When a man came before Hillel and asked him to teach all of Judaism while standing on one foot, he said: "What is hateful to you, do not to another. That is the Torah, and all the rest is commentary."
 
Half of our Judaism is having the right attitude; remembering that other people are reflections of God and that how we live and how we relate to them matters. The other half, which is meant to lead us to that notion, consists of the rites and the rituals that make up the Jewish way of life.
 
Abraham Joshua Heschel taught that Jewish prayer – and Jewish life – is a balance between keva and kavannah. Keva means “fixed.” It is the portion of Jewish practice that relies on details and rules – the HOW. How are you supposed to hang a mezuzah? How are you supposed to put on t’fillin? How are you supposed to say the Shema. Kavannah, which means “intention,” is the WHY.  It’s the morals and ethics; the spirituality; the striving to relate to God and to bring meaning to life, which we achieve often through ritual, but which is outside of the tiny details.
 
Keva and Kavannah both matter – in religion and in sports. If you can throw the ball all the way from one endzone to the other, but you don’t care about the game, then you’re not going to win the Super Bowl. If you can recite every word of the shacharit service by heart, but you don’t love your neighbour as yourself, you’re not fully practicing Judaism.
 
God is in the details. But God is also in the eternal struggle to do better and to be better. 
 
And that’s reason #3.
What’s so Jewish about the Super Bowl? There is almost always a second chance
 
True Leafs fans know it well: You can go years without a winning season and still have faith that someday, somehow, your team can pull it out. And that’s true. The end of any season is a wiping clean of the slate. Every team that didn’t make the big game this year has a chance to make it next year.
 
That might be why for so many of us in Toronto, February is our favourite part of baseball season. Because right now, the Blue Jays have as good a chance as anybody else!
 
Judaism teaches us that while God may be in the details, we’re not expected to get it all right the first time. The purpose of the mishkan that’s being built in this parashah is to allow us to offer sacrifices, to ask forgiveness for the times we’ve missed the mark.  Nowadays, we don’t sacrifice, but through our prayers and our holidays – especially Yom Kippur - we remind ourselves that if we didn’t quite live up to our own expectations this year, we have another chance to do so next year.
 
What’s so Jewish about the Super Bowl? What’s so Jewish about the Stanley Cup, and the World Series, and the Olympics? They remind us that in life, we should strive to be our best, that we should care about how and why, and that we should give ourselves the opportunity to make mistakes and to learn from them.
 
On this Shabbat Terumah, may we heed those words.
And may we strive to create Makom Kadosh – holy space – wherever we are.
 
Amen.

 

A Great Big Family (or, "Why I am Shaving My Head")

on Monday, 27 January 2014.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR FEBRUARY 2014

In the Talmud it teaches, “Anyone who saves a single life is considered to have saved an entire world" (Tractate Sanhedrin 37a). This statement speaks to the high value that Judaism placed on the worth of each individual. There is no higher action in our tradition than Pikuach Nefesh – Saving a Life. And there is no greater sorrow than seeing one’s child become ill. But, as we know, that world is not always fair.

Sometimes, our Reform movement rallies around one of its own in a time of need. We see this, certainly at a congregational level, when shivas are organized and meals are arranged. And we see it at the North American level as well. Last fall, thousands of Reform Jews – including some from Kol Ami - came to the support of young Ethan Kadish, who was struck by lightning at URJ Camp GUCI (the camp where our own Dawn Bernstein caught the songleading bug). As part of a Reform congregation and a Reform camp, we see Ethan and his family as part of our extended “URJ family.”

Over the last year as well, the Reform Rabbinical community has also rallied around the family of the young man known as “Superman Sam.”

Superman Sam is the 8-year-old son of Rabbis Phyllis and Michael Sommer of Chicago. (They were ordained a few years ahead of me from the Hebrew Union College; we overlapped one year in Cincinnati.) In May 2012, Sammy was diagnosed with Leukemia. In December 2013, he passed away. The eighteen months in the middle were eloquently and heartbreakingly recorded at a blog that his parents created. They shared their pain, their struggle, their anger, and their loss with their extended Jewish family and with the world. If you have not taken a look at this powerful and deeply human blog, it is worth a bit of your time.

Sam Sommer’s life ended late last year, but with his life, he inspired a great mitzvah, known as “36 Rabbis Shave for the Brave.” Several dozen rabbis (actually far more than 36!) from all over North America have agreed to shave their heads at this year’s Reform rabbinical conference in March, in order to raise money for childhood cancer research. If you want to take a look at my page (with my “before” picture), you’ll find more information about the project and the donations. Just click here.

Full disclosure: This is not an official Kol Ami project. It is something that I am participating in along with a number of my colleagues from around the continent. Donations will not be funneled through the URJ, but they will go toward research that may help the Superman Sams of the future. Because “anyone who saves a single life is considered to have saved an entire world.”
L’shalom,
Rabbi Micah Streiffer

in search of a new attitude for a new century

on Monday, 30 December 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR JANUARY 2014

In Search of a New Attitude for a New Century

"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."  - Charles Dickens

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."  - Mark Twain

Neither of these classic quotes was written to describe the Jewish community in the 21st century, but they both do.

"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."

While Dickens referred to a time and place far from our own, the 2010s are, in many ways, the "best of times and worst of times" for North American Jewry. On the one hand, we are undergoing something of a cultural renaissance. Today's Jews are better accepted and more welcomed than any previous generation. We are producing music and culture and literature to rival any era in Jewish history.  But at the same time, studies tell us that Jewish affiliation and identification are in decline. More Jews than ever are leaving Judaism; fewer young people are interested in joining synagogues.

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

But let's not mourn the death of our community yet. Just as Mark Twain sought to assuage fears of his demise, so is it not clear whether what is happening in North America today indicates a decline or a shift; a quantitative change in the number of Jews, or a qualitative change in the ways that Jews understand their identity.

* Today, more Jews than ever are marrying non-Jews. Is it a bad thing?

* Today, synagogues have to work harder then ever to appeal to a generation that has shown little interest in them. Is it the end of our way of life?

* Today, Judaism is as much about family and Tikkun Olam as it is about faith and ritual.  Can it be transmitted to our grandchildren?

These are the questions that define our generation, and our answers to them will define our people's future. Let's begin to address these questions in our three-part Adult Education series beginning January 20 at 7:30. It is entitled "Where are all the Jews going? And does it matter?" We will use historical texts, Jewish law, Reform Responsa, and the latest Jewish community demographic survey to tackle some of the crucial Jewish issues of our time.

L'shalom,

Rabbi Micah Streiffer

gotta get to george!

on Monday, 25 November 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR DECEMBER 2013

Warm weather. Water skiing on the lake. Sports and games. Shabbat under the stars.

It's nice to have something to look forward to. During the cold winter, thoughts of summer keep us warm. And for so many Reform Jews of all generations, summer means URJ camping.

Right now, Jewish kids from Ontario to Mississippi, and from California to North Carolina, are busy dreaming about what this summer will hold in store for them. The Reform movement offers 15 summer camps all over North America – some are regional camps, and others focus specifically on sports, arts, or technology.

Camp is good for kids. It builds strong bodies and healthy souls. It encourages independence, and helps kids try new things. Jewish camp is good for Jewish kids. If you talk to the most active Reform Jews across the continent, many of them will tell you that their Jewish connection came out of those summers they spent in the bunk - making new friends and trying new things and falling in love with Judaism. (I have no doubt that I am a rabbi today because of the seven summers that I spent at URJ Henry S. Jacobs camp in Utica, Mississippi.)

We are lucky that the only Reform Jewish camp in Canada happens to be located not far from Toronto. Beautiful Parry Sound, Ontario, is the home of Camp George, which is celebrating its Bar Mitzvah season this coming summer. Having attended, visited, or spent time at eight different Jewish camps, I can tell you that very little compares with the beauty of George. Ontario’s lake country agrees with Jewish camping!

There are a thousand reasons that we should send our kids to Camp George. We should send them there so that they can learn to water ski. We should send them there so that they can build Jewish identity. But most of all, we should send them there because they will love it, because it will become a part of them.

Is your camper ready to join us at George this summer? Visit the Camp George website for registration or information. And feel free to call me or email me if you have questions about what Jewish camping can do for your child.

L’shalom,

Rabbi Micah Streiffer

the freedom to pray

on Monday, 04 November 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR NOVEMBER 2013

Earlier this week, on the first day of the month of Kislev, hundreds of women (and men too!) met at the Western Wall in Jerusalem to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Women of the Wall (WOW).  For two and a half decades, WOW have met on the first day of every Hebrew month to assert their right to pray and sing together publicly as Jewish women.

Have the Women of the Wall achieved their aims? Well, sort of. On the one hand, Israel’s Supreme Court handed down a decision only a few months ago affirming the right of women to gather and pray at the Kotel. On the other hand, Ultra-Orthodox opposition has only grown stronger in the face of the WOW’s very public campaign.  And while Israeli public opinion is still deeply split, the major victory has been in raising issues of women’s equality and freedom to worship into public dialogue.

Anat Hoffman, Chair of Women of the Wall, told Haaretz this week that victory “will come when we are able to offer Israelis a choice at the Western Wall.”

Let us not miss the significance of Jews gathering on the first Kislev to fight for their religious freedom. More than 2000 years ago, another group of Jews struggled for their freedom, and dedicated an eight day festival during Kislev to that victory. The difference, of course, is that that Maccabees’ struggle was against a foreign power, where the Women of the Wall are pitted against their own chief rabbinate.

Kislev is a season of religious freedom. It is the month of the year when we remember those who fought so that Jews could worship as Jews. We have two events this month to help us celebrate:

On November 22 at 6:30, please join us for Rock Shabbat, a musical extravaganza of a Shabbat service, followed by an ice cream sundae bar. The Macabees never prayed with electric guitars, but it is thanks to their struggle that we can!

Then, on November 29 at 6:30, it’s the Night of a Thousand Candles¸ our annual Chanukah service in which we light up the sanctuary with the glow of our menorahs. Bring your own chanukiyah and candles, and join us for dinner afterward. (RSVP to Jay Kowal for dinner only.)

Let us celebrate our Jewish religious freedom, and let us continue to fight for the rights of Jews – and all people – to worship as they please.

L’shalom,
Rabbi Micah Streiffer

kol kodesh - the voice of holiness

on Monday, 30 September 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR OCTOBER 2013

Have you ever written a letter in a Torah? Do you know how long it takes to write a scroll? Did you know that our congregation’s three Torahs are exceedingly old and each has its own amazing story?


Our Torahs are the heart of our identity as a Jewish community. We learn from them, chant from them, and utilize them during public worship, and it is our obligation to care for and preserve them.
As you have heard, our congregation is undertaking a project to restore our Torah scrolls. Why do Torahs need restoring? Does it mean we haven’t taken good care of them? Not at all. Since Torah scrolls are hand-made from organic materials, they require constant upkeep and renewal. Ink fades; seams loosen; materials become worn. It is the job of the Sofer – the Torah Scribe – to lovingly and painstakingly care for the scroll.
This will be an exciting project and we hope to involve the congregation in a number of ways. Here are ways you can get involved:
Attend our kickoff celebration at Shabbat morning services, October 26. Details below.
Come to one of the learning sessions with our Scribe, Neil Yerman, which will be held throughout the year.
Give to the campaign. Just $72 will give you the opportunity to actually write/restore a letter in a Torah scroll. Larger gifts will go a long way toward helping our community to accomplish this important obligation. Click for more information about supporting the Kol Kodesh campaign.

There are plenty of ways to get involved, and it all starts now! Please join us as we kick off this project at Shabbat morning services on Saturday, October 26, at 10:30 am. We are very excited that Sofer Neil Yerman, one of the best known Torah scribes in North America, will be here with us.
 
We look forward to an exciting year of learning as the Kol Kodesh Torah Restoration Project unfolds.
 
L’shalom,

Rabbi Micah Streiffer

a work in progress

on Monday, 23 September 2013.

RABBI STREIFFER'S SERMON FOR EREV YOM KIPPUR 5774

The great Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev was never late for shul.  Other people might waltz into the sanctuary at a quarter past. Other rabbis might stand around and schmooze. Not Levi Yitzhak.

But on this Yom Kippur evening, something was different.  The congregation was growing impatient as the rabbi sat on the bima and waited….and waited….and waited, long after the fast had begun.

“What is he waiting for,” people started to whisper. “Why won’t he begin the Kol Nidrei?”  The whispers turned to murmurs and the murmurs grew louder. And finally, the rabbi rose in his place and began to explain himself.

“There is one among us,” he began, “who is unlearned. Who never had the chance to study and cannot recite the prayers. As I entered the sanctuary this evening, I overheard this one praying to God, apologizing for his ignorance, whispering to the Holy One the only Hebrew he knew: “Alef… Beit…. Gimmel…. Dalet…. Hei…..”

“And so you see,” the rabbi continued, “I’ve been waiting because God has been busy; busy putting all of those letters together into the words of the Kol Nidrei.”

And with that, Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev ascended the lectern and began to chant the service.[1]

 

Yom Kippur is a day full of letters. The letters of the prayers pour out of our mouths. The alphabet of our sins tears at our souls. In a way, each of us is like the unnamed person in the story: Our hearts are filled with longings and regrets, dreams and goals, but we so often don’t know how to put them into words.

And so, when we stand on this day to bear our hearts and our souls to God, we can only hope that God will help us to make sense to what is found there. That God will help us to piece together the letters, so that we can begin the hard work of teshuvah – of repentance.

That is, of course, the reason that we come to the synagogue on this Day of Atonement: to examine ourselves and our lives, to find ways to do better and to be better. And it’s not easy. Real repentance is, by definition, very hard to do. It requires a concerted effort on our part not only today but every day. It requires an acknowledgment that tikkun hanefesh – repairing our souls – is an ongoing process, a journey that never ends.

 

The great Spanish cellist Pablo Casals did a famous interview toward the end of his life, in which he revealed at the age of 95 that he still practiced his cello 3 hours a day. The young reporter grilled him, “Mr. Casals, you are 95 years old and you are one of the greatest cellists ever to live. Why do you still need to practice all of those hours?”

Casals answered simply, “Because I think I’m making progress.”[2]

 

Even the greatest of all musicians needs to work on his craft.
Even the most righteous of all people need to work toward being their best.

At this time of year, we all have work to do. No matter who we are or what we’ve done, each of us is, in a sense, a construction zone right now. During the High Holy Days, we are called upon to recognize that the letters in our hearts have not yet been formed into words. That the goals in our minds have not yet been brought to fruition. That each one of us is a work in progress.

A work in progress. This is not an idea that is unique to the High Holy Days. In fact, it is one of the most basic tenets of Reform Judaism. And we talk about it all the time.

Our movement’s Statement of Principles, written a decade ago, declares that:

 

We are committed to the ongoing study of the whole array of mitzvot and to the fulfillment of those that address us.[3]

In other words, Reform Judaism is built on the idea that we should always be learning and choosing, learning and choosing. We should always be examining our lives, examining our spiritual needs, and our Judaism should be in constant evolution. The way that we practiced Judaism five years ago may look nothing like the way we practice today. And what we do today need not determine what we will do five years from now.

One of the best exemplars of this kind of thinking was the great German Jewish philosopher Franz Rosenzweig, who lived about 100 years ago. Rosenzweig grew up in a secular home, and so he spent his adult life discovering the beauty and the meaning of Jewish tradition, one mitzvah at a time.  He was once asked whether it was his custom put on t’fillin, the leather boxes that are traditionally placed on the forehead and arm as part of daily prayers.  His answer – his brilliant answer – was “Not yet.”

Not yet, he said. I have not yet arrived at a place where I feel myself commanded or compelled to engage in that practice. Not yet. But someday, I might.[4]

As Reform Jews, we ought to live “Not Yet” Judaism – always having our eyes open for the ways that Jewish practice and tradition can enrich our lives, can bring us closer to God, can bring us closer to our own religious and moral ideals. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re always evolving toward being more traditional. Thoughtful Jewish decision-making can take our practice in all different directions.

In fact, in my own house, we’ve made a choice in recent years to do something that is less traditional, because we believe that it better fulfills our Jewish values. In our kosher kitchen, we’ve tried wherever possible to replace hechshered meat (with the signature of an Orthodox rabbi) with free range or organic or ocal products, regardless of hechsher. And we do so out of the Jewish value of caring for the earth and for animals and for ourselves.

Now before you go home and say, “The Rabbi told me not to keep kosher anymore,” it’s important for me to say first that this is our own family’s decision, and second that our family does still keep kosher. The separate dishes are still there; the meat and dairy are still separate. But our kashrut looks different than it used to. Our kashrut is an ongoing work in progress that has evolved as our understanding of our Jewish values has evolved. If I give this sermon again in ten years, I would hope that it will have evolved again.

Reform Jewish life is a journey of learning and choosing and learning and choosing. The author Rodger Kamenetz, jokes in one of his books: “If I were to define myself denominationally, I'd say I'm an under-constructionist - and I wear a yellow hard hat yarmulke.”

 

Now, the truth is that while we’re supposed to wear our hard-hat kippah all year long, it is especially at this time of year that we spend time thinking about our lives and our choices. The High Holy Days give us the opportunity to meditate on our flaws and our faults. What have we done poorly this year? Whom have we hurt? When have we shown our arrogance and selfishness?

It doesn’t get much more depressing than that, does it? Ten days focused on everything that’s wrong with us. Ten days to beat ourselves down for everything we’ve messed up this year. But we know that the High Holy Days are not depressing and they are not intended to beat us down. No, as we said ten days ago, they actually lift us up – by reminding us that our flaws are human, that our sins are choices, and that no matter what we did last year, our choices today still matter.

Rabbi Simcha Bunim, the Chassidic master, was once sitting at the Shabbat table with his disciples, and he decided to ask one of his famous philosophical questions: “How can we tell that a sin we have committed has been pardoned?”

The students deliberated with one another and they began to give answers:
You can tell because you go to heaven.
You can tell because you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.
But the rabbi wasn’t pleased with any of the answers. “No, no, no,” he said. “We can tell that we have been pardoned by the fact that we no longer commit that sin.”[5]

 

Even our earliest rabbis recognized that we ought to measure our teshuvah – our repentance - not by some lofty expectation of divine forgiveness. Rather, we should measure it by our own actions here on earth. By the tangible progress that we see ourselves making this year toward the goal of becoming our better selves.  

This evening we began our service with the Kol Nidrei. Its words are haunting and powerful : Kol Nidrei v’esari v’charamei… May all of my vows and oaths and promises be forgiven should I be honestly unable to keep them. Kol Nidrei is a legal formula, and it begs God to forgive what we are not able to fulfill. It is the deepest and most powerful recognition of our human frailty.

But you might not know that the Kol Nidrei we chant is not exactly what our ancestors once chanted. It was changed – a thousand years ago. A tiny change in language that made a huge difference. Where the prayer once referred to the vows that we were unable to keep last year, it was altered to refer instead to our future promises – those made miyom kippurim zeh ad yom kippurim haba – from this Yom Kippur until the next.

This little change is very important. The tradition is making a conscious choice to focus forward rather than backward. To focus on the inevitability of the mistakes that we will make during the coming year, rather than on those that we already made.

When we look backward, when we dwell on what cannot be changed, then our focus is on the damage that we have done. But when we use these High Holy Days to look ahead, we can focus instead on the opportunities for growth, on the better people that we would like to become, on the work in progress that is our soul.

Am I the best version of myself? No.

Am I living up to my own expectations? Not yet; but this year I will get a little closer.

 

A little closer is all that any of us can hope for in a year.  Being a work in progress requires a great deal of patience. Anyone who’s tried to drive east on Highway 7 in the last 2 years knows just how frustrating a construction zone can be. How long things can take. How easy it is to get stuck. Our spiritual construction zone is like that also. If the High Holy Days are difficult, it is because they require us to have not only the honesty to see our flaws, but also the patience to set goals and work toward them.

We often remark that this Jewish New Year season has very little in common with the secular New Year. Rather than partying, we fast. Rather than celebrating, we spend time in solemn reflection. But what the two New Years do have in common is the idea of making resolutions for ourselves, setting goals for doing better. And we know how difficult that can be.

This past January, Forbes Magazine printed an article that reveals that only 8% of all New Year’s resolutions are actually kept. I don’t know where they got their statistics, but it doesn’t sound so far from the truth that 92% of us fail every year to lose the weight, or exercise more, or spend more time with family, or whatever it is we have in mind. Every year – and for Jews twice a year – we make resolutions to become better people. And every year, on the following New Year, we make them all over again.

But the truth is that it’s not a bad thing for us to be setting the same goals for ourselves every year, as long as in the interim we can take a few steps toward reaching them.

The midrash tells a story about a king and a prince – a father and son – who had a falling out, and so the son went out into the world to wander. Over time, he moved farther and farther from his father, until at some point he no longer remembered the reason he had left. So the son decided to return. He sent word to the king, “Father, I would like to return to you, but I cannot make the entire journey. It is too difficult, and you are too far away.” And his father answered: “My son, come to me now in small steps. If you can make the journey toward me, then I will meet you halfway.”

Now is the time of year when God says to us: Take small steps, and I will meet you halfway.  According to the Chassidim, that’s exactly why we call God Avinu Malkeinu – because like a loving parent, God holds our hand at first, and moves slowly back, and expects us to take steps in the right direction.[6]

Steps. Just steps.  It’s the difference between swinging for the rafters, or going for the base hit. It’s the difference between shooting for the end zone every time, or trying to make the first down. It’s the difference between declaring  “This year, I will spend more time with family” and making a plan for one family dinner a week. It’s the difference between expecting ourselves to be perfect, and willing ourselves to do better.

The broadcast journalist Edwin Bliss once said, "The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time."

The thing about being a work in progress is that you never stop being one. If we were to solve all of our problems this year, then what would we have left to do next Yom Kippur?

So let us spend this coming year not trying to be perfect, but trying to do better. Let us spend this year taking baby steps toward our goals, inching our way toward the life that we would like to be living, so that next year at this same time, we can look back and say “I know I still have work to do, but I think I’m making progress.”

 

A renowned rabbi was was cleaning out a dresser drawer shortly after his retirement from the pulpit, and he found 5 eggs and a thousand dollars. What a strange thing, he thought. And so he asked his wife what it was all about.

She replied that over the years, she had used this system to keep track of his sermons. She had saved one egg for every bad sermon.Hmm, thought the rabbi. Five eggs in all those years. Not bad. But what about the thousand dollars?  “Oh that,” replied his wife. Every time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them.[7]

 

What is life if not a journey – from failure to failure – of baby steps forward? What is life if not a work in progress?

At the end of this day – this long, exhausting day – we will return to our homes with our slates wiped clean, with our buckets emptied. May we fill them, bit by bit this year, with the goodness that is inside of us, with the blessing that surround us, with the letters that spell out the hopes and dreams in our hearts.

Kol Nidrei v’esarei – May all of our vows, all our oaths and promises and obligations, find their way to God. May they become the road map by which we work to better ourselves this year.

May we take steps – positive, attainable steps – toward becoming better versions of ourselves.  And when we fail – and we will fail – may we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and do it all over again.

Amen.

 

 


[1] Based on “One Letter at a Time, “ from Epstein, Lawrence, A Treasury of Jewish Inspirational Stories, Jason Aronson Inc, 1993. Page 88.
[2] Dr. Maxwell Maltz, quoted in Bits & Pieces, June 24, 1993, p. 12
[3] A Statement of Principles for Reform Judaism. Central Conference of American Rabbis, 1999.
[4] An Introduction to Modern Jewish Thinkers, Alan T. Levenson, page 93, 2006, Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, Lanham, MD.
[5] Buber, Tales of the Hasidim, Later Masters, page 253
[6] Based on Gates of Repentance p. 231 #10.
[7] http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/a-work-in-progress-darrin-hunt-sermon-on-growth-in-christ-102809.asp

 

opening our doors

on Thursday, 05 September 2013.

RABBI STREIFFER'S SERMON FOR ROSH HASHANAH MORNING 5774

Two thousand years ago, there were two great rabbis – Shammai and Hillel.
A man once came to Shammai with a religious challenge. He said to the rabbi: “I will become a Jew if you can teach me the whole Torah while I am standing on one foot.” Well, of course you can’t possibly learn the entire Torah while standing on one foot. So Shammai  - who was not known for his people skills - picked up a stick and chased the man out of the room.
Next that same man went to Hillel and said the same thing: “I will become a Jew if you can teach me the whole Torah while I am standing on one foot.” And Hillel didn’t chase him away. Instead, he answered with a single sentence: “What is hateful to you do not do to anyone else. That is the whole Torah. Now go and learn it.”[1]
Usually, when we tell this story, the lesson is about Hillel’s quote: the idea that Judaism is based around the golden rule. But this time, I’d like to invite us to look at the story differently. I’d like us to think not about what Hillel said, but about what he did. When an outsider showed up at his doorstep looking for knowledge and looking for acceptance, it would have been easy for him to turn the man away, to slam the door in his face.) After all, that’s exactly what Shammai had done.) But Hillel didn’t. Hillel welcomed him in; Hillel taught him; Hillel opened the door wide.
 
Our tradition tells us that we come  from a long line of door openers, stretching all the way back to the very first Jews. Abraham and Sarah are said in the midrash to have kept their tent open on all sides so that they could “go out and bring wayfarers into their home,” welcome them, feed them, and share with them.[2]
 
Judaism was born out of Hachnasat Orchim – the value of welcoming the stranger. Judaism grew up under slavery in Egypt, which taught us what it is to be a stranger. And in every age in history, Judaism has been strongest when we have opened the doors of participation and inclusion to all of those who want to be part of us. We have learned over the centuries that an inclusive Judaism is a healthy Judaism.
 
Now the truth is that while Abraham and Sarah may have kept their tent open 3000 years ago, it has really taken until the modern era for the doors to open for some in our community. The Reform movement has been a leader when it comes to breaking down barriers, especially with regard to the role of women in Judaism.
 
On this Rosh Hashanah morning, the haftarah is the story of Channah, the mother of Samuel.  We read about how she longs for a son, how she travels to the shrine at Shiloh to pray, how she becomes the mother of a great prophet. She sings:
 

         Alatz libi B’Adonai, ramah karni B’Adonai.
         My heart exults in God. My pride has been exalted through God.
 

Channah sings: for herself and her family; and she sings for the generations of women whose voices are hidden in the texts. Traditionally, she is one of seven Biblical women who had the power of prophecy. Among them are Miriam and Debora: prophets and judges, teaches and leaders, who cry out to us from the text that the voices of woman deserve to be heard in Judaism. And now, finally, after more than two millennia, we have started to listen.
 
In 1987, I was a camper at Henry S. Jacobs Camp, the URJ camp in Mississippi, the sister of our Camp George. That was the summer when our counselors introduced the chanting of the matriarchs alongside the patriarchs in the amidah. Effectively, they transformed the “Avot” into the “Avot V’imahot” that we know today. And at the time, many of you may remember, the Jewish world went up in arms:

“It’s changing tradition!” we said.
“What’s next, rewriting the Torah?”

And for a decade afterward, there was discussion and debate in our congregations about whether to include the matriarchs in our most central prayer.
 
But in 2013, nobody is debating anymore.
 
Last year, the Jewish world celebrated the fortieth anniversary of the rabbinical ordination of Sally Priesand - the world's first woman rabbi. In 1972, her ordination was really controversial; it was trend setting; it was head turning.
 
But in 2013, more women than men were ordained as Reform rabbis. And nobody is turning their heads anymore.
 
It is hard to believe that only 40 years ago there were no women rabbis. It's hard to believe that only 25 years ago, our movement was deeply divided over "Elohei Sarah, Elohei Rivkah." It's hard to believe that only a generation ago it was not clear to us that girls should read Torah, that Bat Mitzvah was equal to Bar Mitzvah, that women should stand on the bima and wear a tallit. But it is clear to us now.
 
Our member Karen Paikin recently told me a funny story about her son Jesse who is in rabbinical school now. Jesse grew up at Kol Ami in the 90s, and so of course his picture of a Rabbi looked like Nancy Wexler.  And so, when 8-year-old Jesse visited another synagogue for a family bar mitzvah, he was really confused by what he saw there. He turned to his mother and said, "You mean, men can be rabbis too?"
 
As it always is, the new generation knows little of the controversy, little of the turmoil of change. What was once a spark in a tinder box has become a non-issue. What was once a debate has become a consensus. Today, it is universally recognized that Reform Judaism is stronger, and more diverse, and has a brighter future because of the many female voices that can be heard both from the bima and from the board room.
 
To paraphrase an old commercial: “We’ve come a long way, baby.”
 
Our movement has embraced the voices of women, and the Conservative and even modern Orthodox have followed suit! Oh, there is still work to be done: the recent rabbinic salary survey showed that women rabbis don’t have the respect or the compensation of male rabbis. And the Women of the Wall have shown that the struggle to let women’s voices be heard has moved across the ocean to the Jewish state.
 
But at the same time, the women’s movement has become an inspiration and a model to other communities that are working toward inclusion within Judaism. One of them is the Gay and Lesbian community. And while this year’s news in that arena is coming out of the Russian Olympics and the US Supreme Court, as far as Reform Judaism is concerned, Canada set the tone for this discussion a long time ago.
 

Many of you saw the cover story in last month’s issue of Reform Judaism magazine. It was written by Judge Harvey Brownstone, who is Canada’s first openly gay judge, and a Reform Jew. He talked about the experience of growing up gay and Jewish:
My adolescent years…were very difficult times, as there were no "out" role models. I was also very mindful of the admonishments in Leviticus…. So I kept my feelings to myself….[3]

In the 60s and 70s, synagogues were not friendly places for gay and lesbian people. A whole generation of young people grew up feeling ostracized and separated from the houses of worship that should have brought them comfort and community.  But the last 40 years have seen the doors slowly begin to open. In the mid 80s, the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College ordained the first openly gay rabbis, and our seminary quickly followed suit. In 1990, our Movement passed a resolution declaring that lesbian and gay Jews were full and equal members of our congregations. Next year, our Rabbinical Association will inaugurate its first lesbian President. Guided by the principle of B’tzelem Elohim – that all people are created in God’s image, Reform Judaism has been increasingly enriched as it has helped to shepherd a creative and influential community toward the mainstream of religious life.
 
I say toward because, here as well, there is still work to be done. It is the case that our congregations have opened their doors to gay and lesbian Jews. And it is the case that here in Ontario, same-sex marriage has been legal for a decade. But as a movement, we have not yet fully addressed the question of Jewish same-sex marriage in a halachic context. In fact, the last time our Reform Responsa committee weighed-in on that issue was, believe it or not, 1995. At that time, the movement was so deeply divided, that the committee couldn’t create a unified statement. Instead, it produced a majority opinion opposed to rabbinic officiation, and a minority opinion that granted autonomy to the individual rabbi, but cautioned against calling same sex marriages Kiddushin – the Hebrew word for marriage. In other words, it created an automatic differentiation between gay marriage and Jewish marriage.
 
So what’s changed in 18 years? Leviticus hasn’t changed. But as liberal Jews, we know that Torah must be read on the one hand with the knowledge that it was written in a specific time and place, and on the other hand with the conviction that it must speak to our time and place.  And as public opinion about same-sex marriage has evolved, so has our understanding of what Torah has to say about it. And here I turn to Rabbi Elliot Dorff, one of the great halakhic minds of the Conservative movement. He points out that while Torah does have something to say about certain types of relationships, but it also says “יהי כבוד חברך חביב עליך כשלך – Let your neighbour’s dignity be as precious to you as your own.”[4] The value of human dignity has long guided the Jewish approach to human rights and it should guide our approach to the gay and lesbian community as well.
 
And Rabbi Dorff even goes a bit further, to show that in a modern context, Torah could conceivably give its blessing to a marriage between two men or two women.
 

The verses in Leviticus,” he writes, “should be understood to prohibit only those... relationships that offer no possibility of marriage [as in ancient times]. In an age when gay marriage is permitted by some jurisdictions...the Torah’s ban is no longer universal.[5]

 
So in a place like Ontario, where same-sex marriage is legally recognized, the possibility of Jewish same-sex marriage is very real, and some rabbis are already performing them. And while the Conservative movement has not yet taken the next step of formally tackling the issue of Jewish same-sex marriage, our Responsa committee is in the process of doing so right now. And it’s very likely that this new statement will grant rabbis the autonomy to perform these marriages, and also create grounds for calling them Kiddushin, calling them Jewish marriage.
 
This is excellent timing for me, because last month, I performed my first Jewish same-sex wedding. I have to tell you what an honour it was to stand under the chuppah with two partners who so deeply love each other. What a pleasure to live in a place where it is legally possible for me to give my rabbinical blessing to their union. It allowed me to finally formulate in my mind – and this is my own opinion – that I believe a marriage is a marriage. That Kiddushin – that Hebrew word for wedding which is related to the word Kadosh/Holy – should apply to all Jewish marriages.
 
On this issue as well, there is a bit of a generational divide. I don’t have another good Jesse Paikin story, but I did have the opportunity to talk this summer with a group of teens at Camp George, and with our own Confirmation class last year. Their reaction can be summed up along the lines of, “What the big deal?” For our young people, our 40-year struggle with the question of Jewish same-sex marriage is already essentially in the past. And they are looking to Judaism to lead the way into the future. As Reform Jews, as recipients of the prophets’ vision of a better world, we should do everything possible to open the doors of inclusion and acceptance to all Jews who want to practice Judaism and who want to be part of Kehilah – of a Jewish community.
 
Kehilah – community – is the core of who we are.  And as we talk about opening doors, it is important to recognize that there is a third group who are part of our community and who are seeking acceptance within the Jewish world. They are our interfaith families.
 
It wasn’t long ago that families broke apart over marriage between Jews and non-Jews. When Tevya tears his clothes and sits shiva for his daughter, he represents what was the norm for our not-too-distant ancestors.
 
Of course, things are different today, and things are very different within these walls. Here at Kol Ami, interfaith families are an important part of the community. Their children attend our religious school. They sit on our committees and help plan our programs. They are a part of us.  
 

One of our members recently sang praises of inclusiveness to me about Kol Ami:
"As an interfaith family, we did a lot of searching, and we didn’t always feel comfortable at other synagogues. But here, it feels warm and inclusive. The shul has made a huge difference in my kids’ life."

 
Now, there’s no question that we are not perfectly inclusive, but we should be glad to know that this has been the experience of many of the interfaith families within our midst. It should dismay, however, us that this is not in any way the universal synagogue experience – particularly here in Toronto.
 
A few weeks ago, I had a call from a father who was interested in Religious School for his children.  He said to me timidly: “There’s a little problem. My wife isn’t Jewish. Can my kids even come to school here?”
Well, of course the answer is: Yes! The answer is that Jewish families come in all shaped and sizes and from all backgrounds. But that was news to him.
 
And it is news to many of the interfaith couples who call this place each year practically expecting to be rejected. It should make us wonder how many families out there don’t even bother calling us.
                                                                                          
What makes Reform Judaism unique is the willingness to meet people where they are. We are a Jewish community that is prepared to embrace people for who they are.  And we know just how much we have been enriched by the diversity within our ranks.
 
I wonder if the interfaith families who are members of Kol Ami realize just how much they strengthen and invigorate our congregation. Our non-Jewish spouses and parents bring their children to Religious School and stand alongside them as they become Bar and Bat Mitzvah on our bima. You participate in our Torah study discussions and Shabbat services. You sing the songs and prayers. You bring talent and passion and caring to Kol Ami.
 
And this is nothing new – the Jewish community has been enriched by interfaith families ever since the original interfaith family – Moses and his Midianite wife Tzipporah. (By the way, have you ever noticed that she was the one who made sure their kids had a bris?)
 
We should honour those individuals who have chosen to lend their voices to our people’s song. Whether they enter the mikveh or not, they are building the Jewish future and strengthening the Jewish present.
 
It is time for the Jewish community to find a way, without diminishing the integrity of our religious traditions, to let interfaith families know that we value them as Jewish families. That they are not only accepted or tolerated, but welcomed and appreciated here. That their children are as Jewish as any other, and that this is a place where they, too, can be part of Kehilah Kedoshah – holy Jewish community.
 
As it says in the book of Isaish, “Ki Beiti beit t’fillah yikara l’chol ha-amim - My house [says God] shall be called a house of prayer for all people.”[6]
  
So, Mr. Goldstein from Montreal was visiting China, when he stumbled onto an old synagogue.
A synagogue in China, he thought? But since there was a service going on, he put on a tallit and sat down to pray. He noticed, though, that the people there seemed confused by his presence.
After the service, an elderly Chinese man came up to Mr. Goldstein to welcome him. "We are so happy to have you here," said the man. "But tell me, how to you know the words of the Jewish prayers?"
"Well," answered Goldstein, "I also grew up with these prayers. I chanted them at my Bar Mitzvah."
The old Chinese man peered at Goldstein for a moment. Then with a shrug of his shoulders, he replied, "Funny, you don't look Jewish."
 
In the 21st century, the very face of the Jewish people is changing. In the 21st century, we must move beyond bagels & lox and beyond stereotypes of Bubbe and Zayde, and see Judaism for what it is: an ancient and complex tradition that is enriched by people and ideas of all kinds.
 
Let us be the Hillels and Abrahams of today, opening wide the doors of inclusion to those who are interested in learning with us, or praying with us, or raising their children with us, no matter who they are or where they come from or whom they love. To those who are interested in throwing in their lot with the Jewish people, let us say, in the words of the Passover Seder:
 
Kol dichpin yitei v’yeichul:
Let all who are hungry, all who are searching, come here and here find sustenance.
Let those who are in need, who have been rejected or oppressed, come here, and here find acceptance and celebration.
 
In the new year, may we continue to work to build a Jewish community that is a worthy descendant of the tent of Abraham and Sarah.
 
May our congregation welcome the stranger and embrace the searching; may our tent be open on all sides while at its centre, the fire of tradition burns brightly.

May we recognize just how much we are enriched by our diversity, and may we listen closely to hear Kol Ami –the many voices of our people.
 
Amen.


[1] Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 31a.
[2] Avot D’Rabbi Natan 7:1.
[3] Brownstone, Harvey, “I Now Pronounce You Wife and Wife,” Reform Judaism , Fall 2013, p. 20.
[4] Avot 2:10.
[5] Consvervative Movement Responsum: Dorff, Reisner, and Nevins. “Homosexuality, Human Dignity, & Halakhah,”  p. 5.
[6] Isaiah 56:7.

The Family that Prays Together... (OR "Why You Should Attend SFT")

on Wednesday, 07 August 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR AUGUST 2013

Note: This month’s article is especially for Religious School parents, but all are welcome to read it!

There’s something special happening at Kol Ami. And to see it, all you have to do is walk in the door on a Saturday morning: people of all ages gathered together in the synagogue, learning and praying and building community together.

When our congregation was created, it was with the purpose of building a community that is focused on serious, active, Jewish learning for all ages. That value is reflected in much of what we do: in our adult education, in our creative Religious School, in our new Kol Katan nursery program. And perhaps most of all, it is reflected in “SFT.”

SFT is “Shabbat Family T’fillah.” (T’fillah = “prayer” in Hebrew.) For 30 minutes a week we gather - parents and children - to pray together. We sing songs; we pray prayers; we have discussions and hear stories and talk about values. SFT is also the time when classes can show off what they’ve been working on, when we can celebrate our children’s Hebrew achievements, when relationships can be built between families. It is, in all ways, the hub of our school community.

There are many good reasons why we, as parents, should be at SFT. Here are two:

1. We should attend SFT because our children need to see us there. By modeling the importance of prayer, we teach them that Judaism matters to us; that we are not just paying lip service, but actively participating in Jewish life.

2. We should attend SFT because WE need it. It gives us the opportunity to build a prayer life together with our families, to learn new tunes and prayers, and to have important discussions with our children.

So parents, please, take this opportunity to mark your calendar for Saturdays at 12:00 pm. And please plan to join us for Shabbat Family T’fillah on a weekly basis once the school year starts. I am looking forward to seeing you there!

 

L’shalom,

Rabbi Micah Streiffer

putting the unity in community

on Monday, 24 June 2013.

RABBI'S MESSAGE FOR JULY 2013

Shhhhhhhhhhh!
Do you hear that sound? It is the collective sigh of relief as July arrives and the Kol Ami program year comes to an end. We have had quite a year!
From celebrating our 25th anniversary, to planning our first Mitzvah Day. From exploring uncharted Biblical territory in Torah study, to welcoming new families into our Religious School. We have been busy – busy learning, praying, singing, socializing, and repairing the world.
Kol Ami is a small community, but our calendar doesn’t reflect our size. We could never do all that we do without the time, dedication, and resources of so many of our members. And so it is worth taking this opportunity to thank all of those who volunteer for Kol Ami. The Hebrew word for volunteer is mitnadev, which means “one who operates on generosity.” As a community, we are so grateful for the generosity of all those who volunteer every day to make us stronger – as committee members, board members, madrichim, and just to help out. All of you are Bonai Kehilah – Community Builders – and Kol Ami is stronger for the time, effort, and passion that you share!
Over the summer, things slow down just a bit at Kol Ami. That gives us all an opportunity to consider our involvement for the coming year. Consider this: a committee of just five people organized all of our Adult Education this past year. Consider this: eight dedicated volunteers planned and implemented our congregation’s very first Mitzvah Day. Consider this: seven passionate individuals helped us celebrate our congregation’s exciting 25th Anniversary. Kol Ami is a place where individuals really do make a difference. So if you haven’t yet, perhaps this is the year to get involved in one of our congregational committees or programs. Be it Adult Education or Youth Education, Social Action or Membership, Finance or Ritual, there is something for everyone!
If you are interested in getting involved in any of these ways, please do not hesitate to contact me to talk it through. I look forward to seeing you at Shabbat services and programs over the summer, and to reconnecting as we begin a new Jewish year.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Micah Streiffer

Sat, May 18 2024 10 Iyar 5784